Yes or no?
What would your life be like if you didn’t believe the self-limiting stories?
Such a simple inquiry. So powerful and direct. The stories we believe about ourselves and others keep us stuck in patterns, habits and behaviours that cause us to suffer. They usually come in the form of ‘I’m not good enough’. This story inhibits our freedom. Let's let it go!
The truth is, we are all born to shine in our own unique ways. We all have these 'strange jewels' within us. The lesson is to get out of our own way.
The teachings of Yoga, Buddhism and Mindfulness all point to the same concept. We don’t see the world as it is, we see the world as WE are. It’s like looking through a really dirty, smeared, fogged up windscreen. The view is distorted. We forget our true nature, which is truth and love.
The next time you notice you’re caught up in anxiety, worry, rushing, anger, jealousy or any kind of challenging state, take a pause and ask ‘is this really who I am, or is this a story I’m believing’.
A story I’ve believed for a long time is ‘I’m not enough just as I am, I have to continually prove my worth.’ I know this is a story that many of us have carried.
It’s not true, of course, and now I’m letting it go. This story has kept me trapped in a people pleasing state my whole life, avoiding confrontation and leading me to say yes to lots of things that are actually a no. The word NO is sacred. It allows things that are a ‘full bodied FK YES’ to come through. I’m finally starting to realise that by saying YES to things I actually don’t feel are right, I cannot give my energy and attention to what’s really important.
My friend Emmie regularly reminds me of this, so before making a decision I try to remember her words: "Am I doing this to prove something? That I am a good partner / friend / daughter / worthy of love? That I am not lazy / a hard worker / smart? Or am I doing this because I want to, it makes me happy, I know deeply it’’s the right thing, I am being pulled to it for reasons I can’t explain?”
Essentially, all decisions are rooted in either love or fear. If I’m saying yes to something that doesn’t feel right, this would be coming from my fear of rejection, fear of letting someone down, fear of not being enough. If I say yes to something that is a no, it’s not just me who suffers. Everyone else suffers, my heart won’t really be in it, nothing can flow and the other person or people involved will feel this.
I invite you to look deeply at your own life and the decisions you make. These last few months have given us all an opportunity to pause and re-assess. To ask, where can we simplify our lives? To stop the continual rushing, over-working and consumption. To return to what is important. To return to love, for ourselves, our Mother Gaia and all life.
Ask yourself, are your decisions coming from love or fear?
The practices of Yoga, including mindful movement, philosophy & meditation provide a path back to our own hearts. I often think of my mind as a pool of water. Throughout the day, when I’m rushing from one thing to the other, when I have multiple tabs open on my laptop and I’m distracted by the notifications on my phone, that pool becomes very churned up. The sediment at the bottom gets disturbed and the ‘water’ of my mind becomes muddy. Then it’s difficult to see what’s really there. I can’t see clearly, and it’s easy to get sucked back into the ‘I have to prove my worth’ story. Regular rest and breaks throughout the day to sit in stillness, even for a few minutes, or go for a walk and really be with the natural world allow the pool of my mind to settle. As the sediment settles, the pool of my mind becomes clear again, and I can start to see things as they really are. Then my words, thoughts and actions can come from a place of love.
It’s actually very simple. If it’s not a FULL BODY YES, its a no.
Does this resonate with you? I’d love to hear your experiences. I look forward to sharing space with you on the mat, where this journey back to the heart begins.