there's never anything to worry about, only things to be considered
There’s never, ever, ever, ever anything to worry about. Only things to be considered.
I heard these words from a dear teacher last week.
She reminded me how important it is to check in with ourselves and not get consumed by worry. I often catch myself worrying about people and external events. ‘Are my friends happy’ ‘Am I giving them enough support?’, ‘is the studio doing OK?’ “Should I be doing more, should I be doing less’,, ‘am I running out of time’ on and on. My mind can work itself into a real frenzy if I keep identifying with it. It’s exhausting!
This seems to be a common story for many of us. It’s exhausting! It’s almost impossible to be creative, to write, to sing, to paint, to pour love into anything we’re doing, when we’re consumed by this contracting energy.
Where does the worrying come from and why is it so prevalent in our society? Somewhere along the way, we were conditioned to equate worry with love. But this energy of worry is not love. Even though it comes from a pure place, it’s distorted, misguided.
When you project the energy of worry onto another person, you’re basically saying ‘I dont believe this person is capable of handing the situation themselves so I’m going to worry about them.’ Everything is energy. That energy can be really damaging. Imagine how you’d feel if people were ‘worrying’ about you? Would it make you feel strong, courageous, loved, capable?
Byron Katie writes, “I can find only three kinds of business in the universe: mine, yours and the universe’s ( anything that’s out of my control, your control and everyone else’s control - I call that the Universes’ business). Much of our stress comes from mentally living out of our own business. When I think ‘you need to get a job, I want you to be happy, you should be on time, you should take better care of yourself” I am in your business. When im worried about when I will die, or war, or floods or anything else I cannot control I am in the Universes’ business. If I’m mentally in your business or the Universe’s business, the effect is separation.
If you are living your life and I am mentally living your life, who is here living mine? Being mentally in your business means I’m not present in my own life. To think that I know what’s best for anyone else is to be out of my business. Even in the name of love, it is pure arrogance and the result is anxiety, tension and fear. Do I know what’s right for myself? That’s my only business. Let me work with that, rather than trying to solve your problems for you. The next time you feel stress or discomfort or worry, ask yourself who’s business you’re in mentally. That question can bring you back to yourself.”
The next time you catch yourself worrying, change the script. Shift the energy. Instead of worrying about your friend who’s riding her bike too fast, or your Mum who’s not listening to your dietary advice, or whatever the story is, practice sending them love. See them clearly. See their strength. See their magnificence. Realise deeply, they’ve got this. It’s up to them. It’s their path. And it’s up to us to look within, to set up rituals and practices so we can honour ourselves in every moment.
This simple shift of perspective allows me to see more clearly. Sometimes I forget. Often I mess it up. When I’m not looking after myself properly and my energy is low, I’m more susceptible to my mind’s tricks. I start to believe and identify my own thoughts. Then I’m in trouble, but even the forgetting isn’t ‘bad’. It’s all part of the dance.
That’s why a daily practice is so important. We can talk about these concepts all like, we can write and read about them forever, but unless we’re actually PRACTICING, all the theory in the world is meaningless.
Here are some daily practices that keep me accountable:
Most mornings I light a candle upon waking and give thanks to all the abundance in my life. I say thank you to my bed, my house, the trees, and then whatever and whoever come into my heart. This gratitude practice reminds me I am so loved and so supported.
I place my hand on my heart and say ‘I love you, Clare’
I massage my body with my favourite oil.
I have a daily meditation practice. I sit in stillness and watch my mind. I keep a check on myself. Instead of letting my thoughts go, I meet them with understanding. Then they let me go. I’m no longer identified with my thoughts.
I move my body. This could be yoga asana, dance, walking on the beach, cycling, running. Whatever I really want to do, rather than forcing myself to do the same thing each day.
Everything is an honouring. My daily rituals set me free.
There’s never, ever, ever, ever anything to worry about. The universe can handle it. There’s only things to be considered.
Now how does that feel?