Love letter to you
Important things to remember, now and always:
You are loved.
The healing power of presence shines compassionate awareness onto any fear or anxiety. Presence is like the light of the sun. Whatever it touches will be warmed and healed. How to be present? Many ways, including this simple mantra. Repeat to yourself silently 5 times: ‘where am I? I am here’, ‘what time is it? the time is NOW’.
Relax, nothing is under control. We have absolutely no control over external circumstances. We have absolutely no idea what will happen in 5 seconds from now, let alone a week or a year. This is not a bad thing! Let it go. Things will unfold as they unfold. We are NOT supposed to ‘be in control’. Control implies a tightening, a resistance to life as it is. Instead of trying to control life, try opening up to the flow of life. Embrace the mystery of the universe.
My favourite story is ‘the story of the horse’. The essence of the story is, we don’t know what is good and what is bad. If you look back on your life you will see that events you thought were ‘bad’ at the time, actually led to incredible opportunities and happiness. So the next time you notice yourself saying ‘this is bad’, I’d invite you to change the narrative. Try ‘this feels challenging, but I do not know what this will lead to, therefore I’m open to the blessings and lessons that this situation will surely bring.’The nature of life is impermanence. Everything is impermanent. Everything that has a beginning has an end. I will die. You will die. We know that death is certain. The time of our death is uncertain. When we fully embrace this fact, and stop resisting it or denying it, we are then free to fully LIVE. To live from the heart, to live from a place of love rather than fear. Everything is impermanent. Everything is in a state of flux. Change is the only constant. So our work is to stop trying to hold on to the shore, but to let ourselves flow with the fast-moving current of life.
What are you clinging to? Notice your attachments. Notice any resistance to change. Instead of shying away from this, lean in to your own resistance. You might feel this as a tightening in your belly, or a quickening of your heart, or a sense of dread or doubt. Practice sitting with the emotion itself, ‘inviting it for tea’.
Our usual conditioned response may be to ‘get rid’ of the feeling, by distracting ourself with something else, or getting angry with the world. This leads to more suffering, for you and everyone else. Practice getting uncomfortably uncomfortable. That place within you that feels scary, it just wants love. Imagine breathing loving kindness in to your heart on the inhale and letting it spread all around your body like warm honey on the exhale. When you fully accept and love yourself exactly as you are, you free up a whole lot of energy and you’re able to be there for others and the world.Your immune system is compromised when you are in a state of fear and anxiety. When you are in the Sympathetic Nervous System state (SNS, or fight, flight, freeze), the major systems of the body shut down, so all the blood and energy can rush to your muscles to allow you to literally fight or run away. Our physiology hasn’t changed very much in 10,000 years. Our body doesn’t know the difference between a ‘real’ threat (being chased by a sabre tooth tiger), and a perceived threat (reading something that sounds alarming on the news or social media).
The most important thing we can all learn is how to switch our nervous system into Parasympathetic (rest & digest). A simple way to do this is full belly breathing. Lie down, completely relax your whole body. Place your hands on your lower belly. Relax your belly completely. Slow your breath down and try to breathe down into your lower belly, so you feel your hands rising with the belly as you inhale, and soften down as you exhale.
Breathing in, imagine a balloon filling with air at your lower belly. Breathing out, imagine the balloon deflating. Count the breath, in for 4 or 5, out for 5 or 6. Repeat for at least 3 minutes.Dance. Put on your favourite song, right now, and dance like crazy. Shake off anything that isn’t yours to carry.
Surround yourself with people who uplift you, rather than drain you.
Come to a yoga class.