Fly Low, Say Nothing, Let Grace Move Through You

Yesterday I lay in the grass for a really long time. Long enough to watch a tiny spider build her web inches from my face. It took me a while to realise what was happening. At first I just saw a spider and my brain said, yep, no threat, not worth paying attention to. Normally I’d get up and carry on with whatever I thought was the important productive thing to do but yesterday I stayed.

I saw her throw out her almost invisible silken web into nowhere. she scurried up the line that was now floating in the air and from the end threw out another line that attached to a branch with diamond precision. Then she darted back into the centre. This process repeated until she had the structure of the web. I heard a statistic about spiders webs being the strongest substance for their size. When the wind came through in wild bursts her web moved with it and held firm. She’d learned to adapt to challenge rather than let it break her. When the outline was complete she came back to the centre and meticulously wove outwards in ever increasing circles creating a mandala so fine it would make the most mindful artist cry. Eventually she’s done. She stops and rests in the centre of her creation. Completely still. Patiently waiting.

I held my breath. The world paused as if to acknowledge her efforts. I feel privileged to have witnessed this process from start to finish. One of the billions of miracles happening in this moment.

Now when I see the spider webs adorning the skirting boards and creating soft waves across the ceiling I smile.

When I was little I was afraid of the house spiders that crawled around my bedroom at night. My Dad encouraged me to make friends with them, maybe he predicted I’d live in the land of spiders, maybe he was sick of me screaming at him to get rid of them all the time, who knows but he did me a big favour. He’d pick them up and get me to look at them closely. A few days later we’d practice getting a bit closer. Then he’d show me they were harmless by letting them crawl up and down his arms. Eventually I felt brave enough to hold them and I’ve loved them ever since.

Why are spiders demonised. Why do we sweep away their cobwebs from our houses without even stopping to consider the miracle of this web existing in the first place. imagine if we could spin silk from our own bodies and fling it up into the air. Instead we need all kinds of equipment to hang silks from the ceiling and call it aerial yoga or circus in an attempt to even get close, but of course we can’t get close. If someone did that they would be crowned in glory.

The spider exerts all her effort without any promise of return. She doesn’t pause on the edge of the spiky foliage and say ‘what if I fail’. She doesn’t come up with a million reasons why she shouldn’t try. she does what she came her to do. there is no doubt or hesitation. She might wait all day for her next meal but she knows, beyond trusting, she KNOWS it will always come. She knows she’s supported. She doesn’t give up but she always lets go.